Resisting His Irish Spitfire: A Howls Romance (Shifters of Sanctuary Book 1) Read online

  “But she wasn’t,” Wolf snapped.

  “I get that you’re mad. It was for the best.”

  “Lying to our mate and sending her away was for the best? Find someone else to believe that bullshit.”

  Whatever. Knowing he would never be able to go back to sleep, Koda sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He rolled on the sleeve then fit the socket of the prosthetic to his stump. He went to the den and built a fire before heading into the kitchen for a drink. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and poured a couple of fingers into a glass. He downed the amber liquid in a single gulp. He eyed the half full bottle tempted to polish the damn thing off. Koda shook his head. Stupid idea. His shifter metabolism would burn through the alcohol quickly.

  He went back into the den. The room already felt warmer. The fire popped and flames danced in the hearth. Koda closed the screen to be safe. He found it was easier to handle his episodes or nightmares if he was in wolf form. He didn’t know why, but it was what it was. So, he went with it. No need to fight what worked. He pulled off his prosthetic and stripped out of his boxers before calling to his wolf.

  He had shit to do in the morning. He should try to get a few more hours of sleep. Koda must have dozed off because he jerked away when his cellphone chimed an alert that someone had accessed the gate. He was still in wolf form and cocked his head immediately picking up the sound of the misfire in Ella’s engine. She still hadn’t had a mechanic check the spark plugs. Damn hardheaded woman.

  Wolf barked a laugh. “Hello pot.”

  “Shut it.” Koda called to his human form, but nothing happened. He tried again. Once more, his wolf refused to submit. “Let go. We need to shift.”

  “No.”

  Koda was taken aback by Wolf’s belligerent tone. He never denied Koda. Wolf always took the submissive roll especially when it came time to shift. “What the hell? Do as I say.”

  “No.” Wolf snarled. “You aren’t the boss of me.”

  “What are you five? And the hell I’m not. I’m your master and I order you to shift. Now!”

  “You are my master because I allow it. We are one soul. We co-exist in the same body and mind.” Wolf blew out a breath sounding as worn and tired as Koda felt. “At least we used to co-exist. I was willing to give you time to pull your head out of your ass, but you have chosen to fuck up the future for both of us. Time is up, Koda. That’s our mate out there and for some reason she came back after that stunt you pulled yesterday. So, I must assume she has returned to do one of two things. One, Ella plans to shoot your dumbass or two, she is willing to give you a second chance. Either way, we’ll survive. One of those option of course, will leave us in better shape than the other, but I’m willing to chance it.”

  “Son of a bitch!” Koda wished he had use of his hands so he could hit something. He settled for swiping a magazine off the coffee table with his paw. Which turned out to be completely unsatisfying and pissed him off even more.

  “That’s rude. Mom is a perfectly lovely woman. Plus, she’s human. So either way, she’s not a bitch.”

  Koda growled. “If I could kick your ass, I would.”

  “But you can’t.” Wolf pranced and preened. “Also, I didn’t hear you denying a single word I said.”

  Because he couldn’t. His canine alter-ego was right. The thought of voicing it however, left a bitter taste in his mouth.

  “Did you forget I can read your mind?” Smug satisfaction rolled off his wolf in waves. “Give in Koda. I will not relent. I want to meet our mate.” Wolf hummed as the image of Ella running her slim, dainty fingers through their fur filled their mind. “Oh yeah. That’s gonna happen.”

  “The only thing that will happen is you’ll scare the shit out of her.”

  “Nah.” Wolf scoffed as if the mere thought of Ella running away screaming when faced with a large unknown wolf was preposterous. “She’s a smart girl. She’ll figure it out. Ella is our mate after all. Plus, I don’t plan on acting aggressively toward her, dumb ass. Unlike he who shall not be named. Hint. Hint. I’m not talking about the dude with the fucked up face who tried to kill Harry.”

  Koda paced. His heart raced as a sense of foreboding overwhelmed him. “Wolf, reconsider. This won’t end well. I just know it.”

  “It will be fine. If―and it’s a big if―you behave yourself.”

  Ella knocked on the door and he froze. “Koda?” she called out.

  “Shit. Wolf, please. I’m begging here and you know I consider that totally beneath me.” He gave persuading Wolf to change his mind one last attempt. He should have known it was futile.

  Wolf snorted but otherwise ignored him. Wolf wagged his tail thumping it loudly on the floor.

  “She’s going to hear you. Stop that.”

  “Duh and no.”

  “She’ll see our leg.” The thought of seeing pity in Ella’s eyes made Koda want to throw up.

  “Ella is our mate. She won’t care.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “The goddess wouldn’t have chosen Ella as our mate if she couldn’t accept all of us. I have faith, Koda. Enough for both of us.”

  Ella banged on it, then yelled out. “You have two seconds to open this door, Dakoda Stone. I hear you in there. One. Two.”

  “I think if we lay down on the rug in front of the fire it would be less threatening when she comes face-to-face with the big bad wolf.” Wolf snickered at his own lame joke. “Don’t you?”

  Koda mentally rolled his eyes. Nothing short of a silver bullet to the temple would make a two-hundred-pound wolf seem less threatening.

  “I’m coming in,” she called out. Ella opened the door. “Koda? Are you in here?”

  He held his breath and watched as she stepped further into the house. Ella walked into the den and froze when she saw him. Koda smelled her fear. “Told you.”

  “A normal reaction. Don’t worry. I’ve got this.” Wolf’s confidence didn’t abate Koda’s sense of impending doom.

  Chapter 8

  Ella threw the SUV into park and climbed out of the vehicle. She made her way to Koda’s front door and knocked. “Koda?” She called out and waited, but there was no answer. She walked to the edge of the porch and leaned over the railing, but didn’t see him. She passed the window again and heard a thumping noise coming from inside the house. He was avoiding her. Ugh! Coward.

  She stomped over to the door again and banged on it, then yelled out. “You have two seconds to open this door, Dakoda Stone. I hear you in there. One. Two.” Nothing. She heard the noise again. Concern gnawed at her. What if he wasn’t avoiding her? What if Lady Grey’s kick had caused more damage than Koda had let on? What if he was incapacitated, and the thumping was a signal because he needed help but could call out? The thought that something bad might have happened to the stubborn ass made her heart hurt.

  She blew out a breath and raised her eyes to the heavens. Why? Why did she have to be in love with him? The universe was a cruel bitch.

  “I’m coming in,” she called out. Ella opened the door. “Koda? Are you in here?”

  She stepped further into the house. She left the entryway and walked into the den freezing like a deer in the headlights at what greeted her. A large, grey and white wolf on its belly in front of the roaring fire. She studied him. He was huge. Easily three times as big as the wolves and hybrids who lived at the sanctuary. His beautiful ice blue eyes reminded her of Koda’s. Although, the wolf’s seemed friendlier.

  Ella cleared her throat. “Hey, boy.” The beast was too big to be female. She pressed her palm out towards the beast. “Stay.”

  She took a step back, and the wolf pinned her with his sharp gaze. He didn’t growl, but his body tensed as if readying to chase her down if necessary.

  “Shit,” she muttered. She reached into her back pocket and slowly pulled out her cellphone. Keeping one eye on the wolf, Ella searched her contacts for Koda’s number. She called him whimpering when his phone rang from wh
ere it sat on the coffee table. “Fuck my life.”

  The wolf cocked its head. His tongue lolled out the right side over his extremely large and sharp teeth. He appeared to be smiling. Hopefully, it wasn’t because he thought she would make a tasty meal.

  “Please tell me you didn’t eat Koda.” He was a pain in the ass sure, but being eaten alive wasn’t a fate she’d wish on anyone. It was definitely in the top three on her list of ways she didn’t want to die.

  Ella figured she had two choices. Run and hope she made it to the door or take her chances with an unknown wolf while she searched for Koda and his possibly half-eaten corpse. Shittiest choices ever. Doing nothing didn’t sit well with Ella. Koda could be in the house somewhere hurt maybe even dying. She shifted her foot, and the wolf jumped to its… three legs? He was missing part of his left hind leg just below the knee. The poor fella had been through something awful.

  The wolf whined and hobbled toward her. His head low as if he were letting her know he wasn’t a threat. Small patches and thin strips of missing fur revealed scars on the wolf’s back. The wolf edged closer and dipped his head before nudging her fingers with his nose. He seemed docile in a way that made her wonder if he was Koda’s pet. She’d never seen him before, but then again she’d never been inside Koda’s house.

  The wolf sat on his haunches and Ella reached out with a shaking hand. “I’m trusting you not to bite me.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief when she pressed a hand to his head and the wolf leaned into her touch. Ella ran her fingers through his fur. His eyes closed, and he moaned. She grinned at the happy sound. “You’re just a softy aren’t you?”

  She studied his scars. The pattern reminded her of the ones she’d seen on Koda’s back. Koda must have bonded with the animal over shared pain.

  Confident that he wouldn’t harm her, she sunk her free hand into his fur as well and made her way to his ears. Her smile fell when she felt a jagged scar just behind his left ear. She jerked her hands away and took a step back. “Holy shit. You―” She pointed accusingly at the wolf. “―have a scar behind you ear like Koda does.” The wolf chuffed.

  Ella idly wondered if he also had scars on his belly. She stared in shock when the wolf rolled to his back.

  “Holy shit. Fuck. Damn.” Ella pressed a hand over her mouth to stifle her scream. This was not happening. Maybe she was stuck in an alternate reality or fell and hit her head. Perhaps she unknowingly ate some bad mushrooms or something. All plausible explanations.

  The wolf whined and rolled to his paws. He made a move towards her and Ella took several steps back until her back hit the wall. He stopped a barely two feet from her and sat thumping his tail against the floor. His mouth curved up into a doggie smile once again.

  “Please tell me you’re Koda’s spirit animal.”

  The wolf’s brows lowered, and he growled as if he understood her.

  Ella slid down the wall. Her butt hit the floor. The wolf towered over her while she tried to make sense of the impossible. “It’s a dream or a nightmare. Yes, of course. That’s exactly what’s happening. I’m not really here. I’m asleep in my bed.”

  The wolf grunted. His eyes narrowed.

  She scowled at him. “Fine. I’ve lost my fucking mind then.” She shook her head and muttered. “I can’t believe I’m arguing with a wolf.”

  The wolf growled, sounding annoyed rather than aggressive.

  “You can’t be him. It’s not possible.”

  The wolf barked.

  “Hey. Don’t argue with me.”

  He huffed out a breath the same way Koda did when she exasperated him.

  “I hate when Koda does that, and FYI, just as much when you do it. I’m not the one who’s annoying and pigheaded around here. That title belongs to Dakoda Stone.”

  The wolf showed her his teeth.

  “Don’t snarl at me.” Ella scrubbed a hand over her face. She shook her head. Her mind refused to accept what she was seeing. The damn thing understood her. “You understand everything I’m saying, don’t you?” she asked in a quiet voice.

  He yipped, his tail swinging furiously back and forth.

  Don’t ask. Don’t say it. Just don’t. “Koda?” she whispered.

  He yipped again and wagged his tail.

  “No. Not possible.” Ella glared at him and he rolled his eyes. Something he shouldn’t be able to do. Unless… “You’re really him. Aren’t you?”

  The wolf didn’t respond this time. He turned and made his way to the other side of the sofa until all she could see was the upper half of his body. A blue light surrounded the wolf, and she watched in awe as its body morphed into a man. An extremely naked and hot as fuck man.

  Koda stood and eyed her warily as he removed the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around his waist covering his bits. Pity. He sat and bent over. Ella couldn’t see what he was doing, but considered his position and movements. She assumed he was attaching his prosthetic. When he was done, he braced his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands between them before dropping his head.

  Ella waited for him to say something―anything―but he remained silent. She rolled her eyes when it became obvious he didn’t have any intention of starting the conversation. Stubborn ass. She got to her feet and went to him. “What the hell? How is that possible?”

  “I’m sorry if he frightened you. I didn’t mean for you find out.”

  “Ever?”

  He gave a slight shake of his head.

  “Then…” She blew out a breath. “You heard me knock,” she accused. He gave a nod. “Why didn’t you, um, change back?”

  “My wolf wanted to meet you.” She could tell he wasn’t happy about the fact. “He defied me and I wasn’t able to gain control.” Koda shot her an accusing glare as if it was somehow her fault his wolf refused to obey him.

  “I won’t tell anyone about―” She waved a hand at him. “―this.” The last thing Ella wanted Koda to think was that she would divulge his secret. She couldn’t imagine what would happen to him if the wrong people learned of who and what he was.

  He made a familiar snorting grunt that screamed disbelief and annoyance. It never failed to piss her off. He knew the effect it had on her. She swore he did it on purpose.

  “I won’t,” she bit out.

  His head shot up and his hard gaze met hers.

  “Have I ever lied to you? Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me, Koda? No, I haven’t. Stop being a dick.” Ella didn’t shy away from the heat of his stare. She could play the game too. “Why did your wolf want to meet me?”

  The muscles in his jaw clenched as he refused to answer.

  O-kay. “Were you born a, uh… werewolf?” His silence not only pissed Ella off, it hurt. “Despite your glowing personality, I’ve tried to be your friend.” An undefinable emotion flashed in his eyes yet he still refused to respond. She took a breath and swallowed past the lump in her throat realizing she’d been wrong this whole time. She thought Koda was just being stubborn when actually the man she secretly loved didn’t even like her. No matter what she did, it wouldn’t change. Ella pressed a palm to her chest. That knowledge hurt like hell. “I guess that’s it then?”

  He cocked his head and furrowed his brow.

  “Please. Be a decent person or whatever you are and explain something to me. I need to know what I did to make you hate me.” His mouth dropped open. “So I won’t do it the next guy.”

  He lunged to his feet and growled. “I don’t hate you,” he roared. “You are my mate! I could never hate you.”

  “What? Your mate?” If that was true, then why did he treat her like an interloper? “That doesn’t make any sense, Dakoda. You’re part wolf, right?”

  He jerked a nod as he fisted his hands at his side.

  “Wolves can’t resist the pull to their mate. It’s ingrained in their biology. They bond instantly and mate for life.”

  He planted his hands on his hips, looking resigned. He dropped hi
s head and gritted out, “Yeah.”

  Ella shook her head. “You never intended to tell me, did you?” He didn’t need to answer. His expression and silence told her everything she needed to know.

  “Is it because I’m not a werewolf? Am I not good enough for you?” Ella didn’t know why she was still there. Why she asked questions she knew she didn’t want the answers to. Why she felt the need to push him. Maybe she was a closet masochist.

  “I’m not a werewolf. I’m a Lycan. A shifter. It’s me who’s not good enough.”

  That was the dumbest damn thing she’d ever heard. Ella grunted. “You want to explain that dumbass statement?”

  He explained how his injuries and PTSD made him an undesirable mate. How he couldn’t defend her if she were threatened or in danger.

  Like she said, dumbass. “So what? You were willing to doom us to a half-life without any regard for what I wanted, because you can’t defend me against an attack that will probably only ever happen in your imagination?”

  “It was for the best.”

  “For you.”

  “No, not for me.” The weariness in his voice caught her attention, but she refused to let it soften her heart. “There will never be anyone else for me, but you could fall in love with a normal guy and be content with your life.”

  “Content. Wow. That’s what a girl dreams of, contentment. I would have always felt like something was missing.”

  “You would have gotten over it, eventually.”

  Gotten over it? Oh, no, he didn’t. Ella’s blood boiled, and she refused to hold in her anger a moment longer. If that was what he thought? Fuck him. “You know what?” she snarled. “You’re an asshole, Dakota Stone. You can fucking go to hell.” She turned and headed for the door muttering the Gaelic curse her Gran taught her as a child.